This portfolio entry centers on a paper I wrote for a course titled Dilemmas of Teaching and Learning in the first quarter of the EDTEP program. In the paper I worked to synthesize theories about engaging students' motivation into a possible model of instruction I could apply to my own classroom practice. I use the ideas discussed within this paper to explore the challenges and learning I faced while attempting to discover methods for motivating one particular student's achievement in the Classics and Shakespeare course I taught in autumn of 2003.

I remember the look on Seth's face when he discovered the score I had assigned to his district assessment essay. The essay was part of this district's mandated language arts curriculum. Every student was assigned a novel to read over the summer and within the first few weeks of school the students were required to reference the novel in order to reply to a district-wide in class writing prompt. The essays were then to be scored, without adding teacher comments, on a rubric designed by the district. Seth looked as if his score on this essay, which was the average score for his class, was a personal attack against him. He voiced his concern that those he had talked to seemed to have received the same score that he did. In truth, his essay had perplexed me more than most. I had deliberated over his essay with my cooperating teacher for quite some time before using the district mandated rubric to determine his final score. I was impressed with the strong voice shining through in Seth's writing. I also noted the creative and original way in which he attempted to reply to the writing prompt. At the same time, the casual tone of his essay did not match the academic response the rubric called for. He had relied heavily on plot summary, rather than analysis, to defend his main points. In his conclusion, he had written that perfectionism was dangerous for "people like me, who often drop everything when the first little thing goes wrong." According to his response to his essay score, that little thing had just gone wrong. He was ready to disengage from learning in the class. I agonized over his frustration and discouragement. He had taken a risk in writing his essay and now his attempt had not produced the result he felt was warranted.

In my paper, Up to the Task, I explored questions concerning this very problem; that is, how do teachers recapture the interest of students who have made the conscious decision to disengage from learning? Given the enormous, desperate, and constantly growing experiences of students, how do we as teachers build in ways to insure each learner's continual engagement in our classroom? According to Herbert Kohl, there are a number of legitimate reasons for students to chose to "not-learn" a given subject. The subject could, for example, deal with material that undermines personal and cultural beliefs held by the learner. In such a case choosing to not-learn the materials is a legitimate refusal to compromise beliefs central to the learners life outside of the school environment (1991, p. 10). This example illustrates Kohl's assertion that teachers must look beyond the surface of students supposed failures and see them as possible mismatches between the lens with which the student views the learning and our own vantage point. In Seth's case, I believe his choice to not-learn was based on his own admitted sensitivity to perceived failure. Having infused his paper with personal style and risking exposure and critique of his creativity, he took his average score to mean that I did not value his creative efforts in writing his essay. This could have led him to believe in a mismatch between the value he placed on personal creativity and the role creativity played in the learning of my classroom. Seth wanted to be highly rewarded for his creative efforts and, because of my adherence to the mandated scoring rules for this essay, he did not feel adequately supported. Seth's disengagement on future assignments in the class likely stemmed from his perception of this mismatch in values.

This situation was exacerbated by the fact that I did indeed place a high value on both student choice and creativity. In each unit I taught I had included opportunities for students to choose the course of their learning and to apply their creative talents to foster personalization of learning. According to Nicholls, engaging students in a dialog concerning the topics and methods used to promote their learning is a powerful tool for motivating students (1992, p. 80). I frequently sought feedback from students as to the effectiveness of a particular lesson or activity and used their suggestions to help tailor future learning. For example, after engaging students in a whole class discussion of a section of The Iliad, several students noted that it would be helpful to have discussions in smaller groups. They felt that these smaller groups would allow for more focused and personal discussions of questions they had about the book. The next discussion we held was structured accordingly. Additionally, within each unit students were presented with choices where they could engage the learning from a creative standpoint. In the creation mythology unit (see portfolio artifact 3) students were charged with presenting a cultural myth to the class and were given leeway to infuse creative talents into the presentation. I felt that the message I was sending to my students was that I valued and respected their ideas and their creativity. I failed to consider the possibility that in Seth's mind my efforts might have appeared as mere lip service. Having managed an attempt to engage his imagination and feeling shot down for the effort, it was unlikely that Seth would make a second attempt. He continued to struggle to engage in the class.

Concern for Seth led my cooperating teacher and me to discussions about his effort (or apparent lack of effort) in class. Both my cooperating teacher and I discussed our concerns with Seth who was aware of his precarious grade in the class. Seth agreed to come in after school to work on catching up. We were in contact with his parents, who confirmed the high value Seth placed on creativity. His father stated that Seth's primary interests focused on the arts. Why then did he choose not to engage in assignments where his artistic talents could be engaged? At the time it was puzzling. My cooperating teacher researched Seth's prior grades in English courses and noticed a similar pattern of inactivity, but also noticed a huge discrepancy between his grades in English and other subject classes. The question arising from this discovery centered on this discrepancy between Seth's capacity and his achievement.

In my paper I discuss Nicholls' findings that when engaging students in dialog about their learning, one can often determine whether a students achievement is motivated through an ego-oriented subject matter approach or task oriented approaches ( 1991, p.270-273.). The particular orientation of a student for a given subject depends largely on the subject matter, on the assignment, and on the teaching methods and practices employed in the classroom. My classroom was largely focused on activities that promote the learning of those students who are motivated by the improvement of personal knowledge and skills concerning a particular subject. This approach assures that most students will remain engaged in the class as the chief goal is not to be king of the hill (leaving one student at the top of the heap and others ranked accordingly), but rather to reach the top of one's own personal hill and then survey the landscape of achievement from this new perspective. Looking back it is possible that Seth's concern about receiving the same grade as others on his essay indicates that his motivation for learning relies more heavily on ego-oriented activities. His particular motivational orientation appeared to be further confirmed when he achieved one of the highest grades on a midterm exam given by my cooperating teacher. Seth was very pleased with the praise he received from his teachers concerning his efforts and his high ranking on the exam. Because he had shown his ability to succeed on this task, we felt that Seth had demonstrated to us as well as to himself, the ability to be successful in class. We then put the onus of Seth's achievement on Seth. He continued to struggle after the test. Stepping back from the situation, I understand now that Seth had proved his ability to achieve in our class at tasks like this exam; a task where Seth could easily quantify his achievement as compared to others. Because the classroom remained highly task oriented after the exam, and because he felt unable to apply his creative prowess in fear of further perceived rejection, Seth continued to struggle to find a way into the learning as I continued to work to find a way to help him.

Reflecting on this experience now and looking back at the paper I wrote I think I have discovered a possible cause of my difficulties in helping Seth. It stems back to my assessment of the district essays. In my paper I outline the need to treat assessments as tools for further learning rather than simply as documentation of learning (Wolf, p. 4-8). Coupled with the need for transparent and formative assessment, I examine the need for teachers to include specific suggestive comments for improvement, when they respond to students' writing (Sommers, 1982). Despite my adherence to these practices when creating my own units and assessments, I did not utilize the district assessment to its full potential in this regard. Students had been given the rubric and had discussed the criteria for each of the corresponding scores. Students had been given sample essays to read and assess using the rubric as a guide. When I returned the essays, the students were asked to use the rubric to evaluate their own scores and areas for improvement, but with no real guidance on my part. I had not provided students with comments to help them understand how I viewed their writing or made suggestions. In effect this meant that students may not have fully understood why they received the scores they had on their essays, making it difficult to know where to focus their efforts for improvement. Had I done so, in Seth's case at least, he would have been able to discover that I appreciated and encouraged his creative approach to this assessment. He would have been more aware of the areas in which I felt he needed to focus on improvement. It might have encouraged him to continue his creative efforts and fostered his continued engagement in my class.