Graphic Credits- http://mindfulnessremedy.com/restlessness
I’ll be honest- meditation is a fairly new concept in my life. I always found it odd and almost unsettling. The idea of a bunch of people sitting in a room, eyes closed, somehow reaching into a different mental dimension seemed out of touch to my scheme of how things were supposed to be. After starting this class, I realized that contemplative practices would be a major part of it all, so here’s my reflection on it thus far.
Each day we sit and contemplate, the time spent seems to have a rather adverse effect on me. Perhaps it’s just a restless mind, but as I hear the professor’s voice softly asking where my attention is, I find my own attention to be zig zagging from one paralyzing thought to the next. We spend so much time reading articles about the devastating affects we, as a species, have dumped upon the planet. Outside of class, I’m usually moving about and able to continue with my life as usual. However, once I am completely still, I begin to return into that state of ‘oh shit… what have we done?’
My brain races from images of rivers filled with oil to people in masks avoiding air pollution, and the ever-so-daunting question rises. What can I do? I feel as if my body is glued to the chair, unmoving and helpless. Instead of spending time coming up with real life solutions, I’m focusing on my breathing and attention. It almost feels selfish, in some ways. I do recognize the validity of meditation/contemplative practices, and its positive effects. I suppose my mind just has not felt the reality of it yet.