Originally written Monday, 8:01am 10/23/2017
Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I get up between 7-7:30 to run to Gasworks park. On days when I’m feeling down or depressed, I’ll stop at the top of the hill and sit to focus on myself and my surroundings. Today was one of those days. I took a few deep breaths and calmed my mind. I focused on my heart and I can only describe the feeling I had as wrong. I shifted my focus to the world around me, the passers by, the boat filled waters, the city skyline in front of me full of cranes. It was the Anthropocene unfolding before my eyes. I couldn’t stop focusing though. Normally, I just get up, put my music back on, and run back to my residence hall but today I couldn’t do that in good conscience.
So many things are wrong in this area alone. The polluted soil from a decommissioned power plant, the wrappers and plastic in the grass, the beer cans everywhere. Subconsciously, I told myself to go to the water. Maybe I would feel better, but things only got worse. On the walk down, I thought about what I had heard in the documentary How to Let Go of the World by Josh Fox, how it’s not a choice to fight the Anthropocene. Why is it not a choice for me, when so many work against the fight. On a base level, we have a population of rampant waste, by this time I had gotten to the water and seen two brand new bikes thrown into the depths. Just more waste. On a higher level, we have people who actively fight against legislation to help us in the name of profit and the preservation of power. Why do I have to care when so many actively ignore the issues at hand. In the future, my efforts will be consigned to oblivion, being known as just another wasteful person in an indifferent Anthropocene. Every effort I will make on a small level, from recycling and composting waste to walking and biking for transport, it’s all just undone by someone else’s negligence. Josh Fox says “it’s not a choice” but who the hell is going to enforce that?
For the first time in my life, I’m considering a career outside of researching physics. I’m considering a career in fighting ignorance, fighting for a healthier, more sustainable world. Then again, what is there to consider if there is no choice?