More times than not, I’d arrive to our class flustered and frazzled. In order to be on time, I’d have to race from across campus during passing period (a typical freshman mistake). Given my state of mind at the start of class, our contemplative practice were welcomed moments of meditation. A few minutes to collect myself and calm down made the material easier to process. However, our practices were more than just a few moments to “chill”. One of them had a great influence on me and helped me realize what I want to do with my life.
The contemplative practice in which we imagined being a seed in the Earth was incredibly impactful. A seed deep in the ground must undergo countless chemical processes until it produces a any evidence or growth. It takes time to see a small sprout poking out from the soil. Water, nutrients, and sunlight all need to be present for there to be growth. Like a seed, we as young people need time to figure things out before we might produce evidence of success. Our efforts may not produce a definitive result, but they are still important to our development. Exploring new opportunities and taking risks are the foundations of young adulthood.
During this practice, I contemplated where I drew my life force from. How can I best serve my fellow man while finding my own happiness? It was in this headspace that I entertained changing career goals. At the start of the school year, I thought I was going into major in Neurobiology, get a Phd, and do research in neuropharmacology. I now know that working in a lab my entire career would not be the best way for me to help people. I’m thinking about going to medical school to be some kind of psychiatrist. My future is still unclear, but being okay with the uncertainty gives me a new sense of confidence. This holiday season when my family asks me what I’m going to do with my life, I will tell them that I do not know yet, with a smile. I’ve learned from “The Seed” contemplative practice that this stage in my life is about growth, not end results.
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Image is from Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/explore/growing-sunflowers/?lp=true