Q Center

October 15, 2013

Bodies and Normalcy

I’m a (mostly) cis girl but the last few years I have been growing more and more aware of how much more comfortable I would be if I were male-bodied. I still feel female (whatever that means) but I’ve tried packing and binding and it just feels right to me. I’m really unfamiliar with queer culture, having grown up in a pretty conservative home. Is this a normal thing? I’m just. Really. Confused. Thanks/sorry if this is a weird question.

No question is a weird question my dude, this is a queer advice column! Queer is weird. I want to deviate from the use of the word “normal,” because I think it implies too strongly that there’s one way to do something right, and with something as personal and multifaceted as your identities, body, etc., using that word with that meaning is so far from a place of productivity. I think what you should focus on is something you said in this message: it feels right to you. Whether it’s common or expected or not, the thing that matters most is that it’s something that makes you feel at home in your skin. So I guess to answer your question of normalcy/commonality, I would say that usually people who play with their gender expression and presentation to noticeable degrees identify as trans* in some respect, but that doesn’t mean that you need to and it doesn’t mean that you’re the only person who’s experienced this. The specifics of identity rest completely in your hands, and I know there’s a sense of pressure to pick one term and stick to it but I really don’t think that’s necessary. Identifiers are not as important as your comfort. I’ve definitely run into people who have encountered the same presentation preferences before, and I think that experimenting with this kind of stuff is really healthy and really productive! So keep binding and packing for as long as it keeps you feeling happy and right.

Hope this helped!