As the Cold War came to an end in the late 1980's, the United States and the Soviet Union were building a relationship based on cooperation. During the early 1990's, the United States and Russia continued efforts to cooperate on a wide variety of issues, and the overall mood was optimistic. Unfortunately, this relationship has recently deteriorated significantly, raising the specter of another arms race or Cold War. What happened to the relationship? Why is it so difficult for us to cooperate now, as politicians and analysts claim? One explanation for this problem is that the United States has been too intrusive in the Russian political and economic transformation. Other alternative explanations are that the United States has done too little to help Russia, or that cooperation between the two states is not possible, because of a clash of interests or Russian imperialism. I suggest that at least part of the problem has been incompatible definitions of 'cooperation.' Because of their different circumstances and means, the United States and Russia see cooperation quite differently: for the former, it seems to mean persuading other states to comply with US wishes, while for the latter it implies equal partnership. This has contributed to the friction and mutual disillusionment.