Clans and Strong Family Ties

Hmong families are really protective and they tend to live together as extended families. From my experience, we do have an extended family but we don't live under one roof anymore. The grandparent usually goes and live with one of her sons, but the families ties are still as strong as steel.

Marriage

Hmong marriage in the US is different from marriage back then in Laos. They do still have the negotiating with the Mekong, Pij Las, and bride's maid of honor. The groom's side of the family still pays for the bride. But now many young couple does their wedding in a church.

Courtship

Hmong men back then, usually dated a girl through the night. He would go to the girl's house during the middle of the night, and wake her up by gently poking her with a stick through the bamboo wall. Then, he will talk with her and blow music through a leaf sending her a message. Or they meet one another through the Hmong New Year. The ball toss game is an activity for the male to meet the female.

As of now, if a man likes a girl, he'll either ask her on a date, or take some time to get acquainted with her. Some people still do meet a girl through the Hmong New Year, but besides the ball toss game, they would walk around the New Year to get to know one another.

Housings

Back in Laos, there is a bamboo house for a family and the extended family live together. They also have enough land to do gardening, and farming animals. Hmong houses, doesn't have any bathrooms or clean water.

Now, there are houses for rent and sale. Usually the backyard is too small to raise animals, and to garden at the same time. You can only do it if you get a house with a lot of land. And they have to rent or buy land to do these things. Over here, we have the technology of bathrooms, and we have toilets, sinks, bathtubs and showers.

Teenagers

The elders are the wise one in a family. Hmong people never really had a good education, and the younger people always looked up to the elders.

As of now, we have a better education over here in the US. We are learning a lot about the United State, and many other things. Now, it seems like the elders are learning from us, but at the same time we are learning from them as well. For example, we teach them some english and the ways of Americans, and they teach us their experiences, and passing down our culture.

Love

Traditionally, parents showed love to their children by preparing food, buying clothes, comforting them when they are sick, and just helping them in anyway that they can. They never had the saying, I love you.

Most parents today still show this kind of love, but some are begining to express love by using the phrase I love you.