Tim W
Tech A/La 3
7-10-95

My life is full of my past actions and my mothers' expectations of me. These thoughts have come to me over time. I guess that where you live does affect your personality; not yourself. That is really hard for me to consider. That might be because I have built up so much defense, to block others' opinions about me. What I think they have to say might be different about what I have set myself to believe.

I guess I am afraid to change because it has taken me so long to build up where I am today. I like where I am today. It is as if I am not really afraid of what is new, just as long as it is in my range of reality.

I know that my Mom loves me and I knows that I love my Mom. My Mom never really taught me how to defend myself towards other people. She never really knew how to defend herself. I think that if she did know how she would have taught me. My Mom is the type of person who carries what she knows inside and does not let go. She never expresses it. I do not like to not express myself. I like to express myself.

I love my Mom because she is my Mom. She is always there for me. My Mom sometimes does not realize that I am depressed or in a bad mood, etc. She does know how to comfort me. She is that type of person when Christmas time comes around and she does not have a job, she would still get everybody a card or at least something.

My Mom is the only one I think that shapes my sensitive side, my understanding side. On the other hand my sister has also been a major influence in my life. She has influenced me to express how I feel. She expresses how she feels very strongly. If you do not like what she is talking about then do not listen! That is my attitude towards life in general. My Sister is weak at letting her love go. She never knew how to express her love all that much. Because she was not taught how, she was not shown. Her attitude on love is basically "Let me reject you before you have the chance to reject me." That also is my general attitude towards love.

Personally I think that the city you live in is just the city you live in. It is not where you live it is whom you live with. It is not what it is who. I think that of coarse where you live will force you to adapt. That is in general. If you live somewhere cold then you are going to dress warm. Until you adapt to the weather to the point that you would not have to dress so warm. If you live somewhere where there is a lot of gangs, then you would automatically adapt to that too. Some would get guns, some would make more friends, some would stop wearing certain colors that would get you in danger. You would adapt to the place that you live the same way that you would adapt to with whom you live. You would adapt more strongly to whom you live with then where you live.