INTRODUCTION
I am a 44-year old autistic woman who has a successful international career
designing livestock equipment. I completed my Ph.D. in Animal Science at the
Two of the subjects covered in this chapter are the frustration of not being
able to speak and sensory problems. My senses were oversensitive to loud noise
and touch. Loud noise hurt my ears and I withdrew from touch to avoid
over-whelming sensation.
I built a squeezing machine which helped me to calm my nerves and to
tolerate touching. At puberty, horrible anxiety "nerve" attacks
started and they became worse with age. Antidepressant medication relieved the
anxiety. In the last section of the chapter directing my fixations into constructive
activities and a career will be discussed along with the importance of a
mentor. My skill and deficit areas are covered in detail. All my thinking is
visual, like videos played in my imagination. Even abstract concepts such as
getting along with other people are visualized through the use of door imagery.
LACK OF SPEECH
Not being able to speak was utter frustration. If
adults spoke directly to me I could understand everything they said, but I
could not get my words out. It was like a big stutter. If I was placed in a
slight stress situation, words would sometimes overcome the barrier and come
out. My speech therapist knew how to intrude into my world. She would hold me
by my chin and made me look in her eyes and say "ball." At age 3,
"ball" came out "bah," said with great stress. If the
therapist pushed too hard I threw a tantrum, and if she did not intrude far
enough no progress was made. My mother and teachers wondered why I screamed.
Screaming was the only way I could communicate. Often I would logically think
to myself, "I am going to scream now because I want to tell somebody I
don't want to do something."
It is interesting that my speech resembled the stressed speech in young
children who have had tumors removed from the cerebellum. Rekate,
Vestibular stimulation can sometimes stimulate speech in autistic children.
Slowly swinging a child on a swing can sometimes help initiate speech (Ray,
King, & Grandin, 1988). Certain types of smooth, coordinated movements are
difficult for me, even though I appear normal to the casual observer. For
example, when I operate hydraulic equipment that has a series of levers, I can
operate one lever at a time perfectly. Coordinating the movement of two or
three levers at once is impossible. This may explain why I do not readily learn
a musical instrument, even though I have innate musical talent for pitch and
melody. The only musical instrument I mastered is whistling with my mouth.
RHYTHM AND MUSIC
Throughout elementary school my speech was still not completely normal. Often
it took me longer than other children to start getting my words out. Singing, however was easy. I have perfect pitch and I can
effortlessly hum back the tune of a song I have heard only once or twice.
I still have many problems with rhythm. I can clap out a rhythm by myself,
but I am unable to synchronize my rhythm with somebody else's rhythm. At a
concert I am unable to clap in time with the music with the rest of the people.
A lack of rhythm during autistic piano playing is noted by Park and Youderian
(1974). Rhythm problems may be related to some autistic speech problems. Normal
babies move in synchronization with adult speech (Condon & Sander, 1974).
Autistics fail to do this. Condon (1985) also found that autistics and, to a
lesser extent, dyslexics and stutterers have a defective orienting response.
One ear hears a sound sooner that the other. The asynchrony between ears is some-
times over one second. This may help explain certain speech problems. People
still accuse me of interrupting. Due to a faulty rhythm sense, it is difficult
to determine when I should break into a conversation. Following the rhythmic
ebb and rise of a conversation is difficult.
AUDITORY PROBLEMS
My hearing is like having a hearing aid with the
volume control stuck on "super loud." It is like an open microphone
that picks up everything. I have two choices: turn the mike on and get deluged
with sound, or shut it off. Mother reported that sometimes I acted like I was
deaf. Hearing tests indicated that my hearing was normal. I can't modulate
incoming auditory stimulation. Many autistics have problems with modulating
sensory input (Ornitz, 1985). They either overreact or under-react. Ornitz
(1985) suggests that some cognitive deficits could be caused by distorted
sensory input. Autistics also have profound abnormalities in the neurological
mechanisms that control the capacity to shift attention between different stimuli
(Courchesne, 1989).
I am unable to talk on the phone in a noisy office or airport. Everybody
else can use the phones in a noisy environment, but I can't. If I try to screen
out the background noise, I also screen out the phone. A friend of mine, a high-functioning
autistic, was unable to hear a conversation in a relatively quiet hotel lobby.
She has the same problem I have, except worse.
Autistics must be protected from noises that bother them. Sudden loud noises
hurt my ears like a dentist's drill hitting a nerve. A gifted, autistic man
from
I still dislike places with confusing noise, such as shopping malls.
High-pitched continuous noises such as bathroom vent fans or hair dryers are
annoying. I can shut down my hearing and withdraw from most noise, but certain
frequencies cannot be shut out. It is impossible for an autistic child to
concentrate in a classroom if he is bombarded with noises that blast through
his brain like a jet engine. High, shrill noises were the worst. A low rumble
has no effect, but an exploding firecracker hurts my ears. As a child, my
governess used to punish me by popping a paper bag. The sudden, loud noise was
torture.
Even now, I still have problems with tuning out. I will be listening to a
favorite song on the radio, and then realize I missed half of it. My hearing
just shuts off. In college, I had to constantly keep taking notes to prevent
tuning out. The young man from
TACTILE PROBLEMS
I often misbehaved in church, because the petticoats itched and scratched.
Sunday clothes felt different than everyday clothes. Most people adapt to the
feeling of different types of clothing in a few minutes. Even now, I avoid
wearing new types of underwear. It takes me three to four days to fully adapt
to new ones.
As a child in church, skirts and stockings drove me crazy. My legs hurt
during the cold winter when I wore a skirt. The problem was the change from
pants all week to a skirt on Sunday. If I had worn skirts all the time, I would
not have been able to tolerate pants. Today I buy clothes that feel similar. My
parents had no idea why I behaved so badly. A few simple changes in clothes
would have improved my behavior.
Some tactile sensitivities can be desensitized. Encouraging a child to rub the skin with different cloth textures
often helps. The nerve endings on my skin were supersensitive. Stimuli
that were insignificant to most people were like Chinese water torture. Ayres
(1979) lists many good suggestions on methods to desensitize the tactile
system.
APPROACH-AVOID
In my book Emergence: Labeled Autistic (Grandin & Scariano, 1986), I
describe craving pressure stimulation. It was an approach-avoid situation. I
wanted to feel the good feeling of being hugged, but when people hugged me the
stimuli washed over me like a tidal wave. When I was 5 years old, I used to
daydream about a mechanical device I could get into that would apply comforting
pressure. Being able to control the device was very important. I had to be able
to stop the stimulation when it became too intense. When people hugged me, I
stiffened and pulled away to avoid the all- engulfing tidal wave of
stimulation. The stiffening up and flinching was like a wild animal pulling
away. As a child, I used to like to get under the sofa cushions and have my
sister sit on them. At various autism conferences, I have had 30 or 40 parents
tell me that their autistic child seeks deep pressure stimuli. Research by
Schopler (1965) indicated that autistic children prefer (proximal) sensory
stimulation such as touching, tasting, and smelling to distal sensory stimulation
such as hearing or seeing.
SQUEEZE MACHINE
At age 18 I built a squeezing machine. This device is
completely lined with foam rubber, and the user has complete control over the
duration and amount of pressure applied. A complete description of the machine
is in Grandin (1983, 1984), and Grandin and Scariano (1986). The machine pro-
vides comforting pressure to large areas of the body.
It took me a long time to learn to accept the feeling of being held and not
try to pull away from it. Reports in the literature indicate that autistics
lack empathy (Bemporad, 1979; Volkmar & Cohen, 1985). I feel that the lack
of empathy may be partially due to a lack of comforting tactual input.
One day about 12 years ago, a Siamese cat's reaction to me changed after I
had used the squeeze machine. This cat used to run from me, but after using the
machine, I learned to pet the cat more gently and he decided to stay with me. I
had to be comforted myself before I could give comfort to the cat (Grandin,
1984).
I have found from my own experiences with the squeeze machine that I almost
never feel aggressive after using it. In order to learn to relate to people
better, I first had to learn how to receive comfort from the soothing pressure
of the squeeze machine. Twelve years ago I wrote, "I realize that unless I
can accept the squeeze machine I will never be able to bestow love on another
human being" (Grandin, 1984). During my work with livestock, I find that
touching the animals increases my empathy for them. Touching and stroking the
cattle makes me feel gentle towards them. The squeeze machine also had a
calming effect on my nervous system.
Squeeze machines have been in use in clinics working with autistic and
hyperactive children (Figures 6-1 and 6-2). Lorna King, an occupational
therapist in
ANXIETY AT PUBERTY
As a child I was hyperactive, but I did not feel "nervous" until I
reached puberty. At puberty, my behavior took a bad turn for the worse.
Gillberg and Schaumann (1981) describe behavior deterioration at puberty in
many autistics. Shortly after my first menstrual period, the anxiety attacks
started. The feeling was like a constant feeling of stage fright all the time.
When people ask me what it is like I say, "Just imagine how you felt when
you did something really anxiety provoking, such as your first public speaking
engagement.
Now just imagine if you felt that way most of the time for no reason."
I had a pounding heart, sweaty palms, and restless movements.
The "nerves" were almost like hypersensitivity rather than
anxiety. It was like my brain was running at 200 miles an hour, instead of 60
miles an hour. Librium and Valium provided no relief. The "nerves"
followed a daily cycle and were worse in the late afternoon and early evening.
They subsided late at night and early in the morning. The constant nervousness
would go in cycles, with a tendency to be worse in the spring and fall. The
"nerves" also subsided during menstruation.
Sometimes the "nerves" would manifest themselves in other forms.
For weeks I had horrible bouts of colitis. When the colitis attacks were active,
the feeling of "stage-fright" nerves went away.
I was desperate for relief. At a carnival I discovered that riding on the
Rotor ride provided temporary relief. Intense pressure and vestibular
stimulation calmed my nerves. Bhatara, Clark, Arnold, Gunsett, and Smeltzer
(1981) have found that spinning in a chair twice each week reduces
hyperactivity in young children.
While visiting my aunt's ranch, I observed that cattle
being handled in a squeeze chute sometimes relaxed after the pressure was
applied. A few days later I tried the cattle squeeze chute, and it provided
relief for several hours. The squeeze machine was modeled after a squeeze chute
used on cattle. It had two functions: (1) to help relax my "nerves"
and (2) to provide the comforting feeling of being held. Prior to building the
squeeze machine, the only other way I could get relief was strenuous exercise
or manual labor. Research with autistics and mentally retarded clients has shown
that vigorous exercise can decrease stereotypies and disruptive behavior
(McGimsey & Favell, 1988; Walters & Walters, 1980). There are two other
ways to fight the nerves: fixate on an intense activity, or withdraw and try to
minimize outside stimulation. Fixating on one thing had a calming effect. When
I was livestock editor for the Arizona Farmer Ranchman, I used to write
three articles in one night. While I was typing furiously I felt calmer. I was
the most nervous when I had nothing to do.
With age, the nerves got worse. Eight years ago, I had a stressful eye
operation that triggered the worst bout of "nerves" in my life. I
started waking up in the middle of the night with my heart pounding and
obsessive thoughts about going blind.
MEDICATION
In the next section, I am going to describe my experiences with medication.
There are many autism subtypes, and a medication that works for me may be
useless for another case. Parents of autistic children should obtain medical
advice from professionals who are knowledgeable of the latest medical research.
I read in the medical library that antidepressant drugs such as Tofranil
(Imipramine) were effective for treating patients with endogenous anxiety and
panic (Sheehan, Beh, Ballenger, & Jacobsen, 1980). The symptoms described
in this paper sounded like my symptoms, so I decided to try Tofranil. Fifty mg
of Tofranil at bedtime worked like magic. Within a week, the feelings of
nervousness started to go away. After being on Tofranil for four years I
switched to 50 mg Norpramin (desipramine), which has fewer side effects. These
pills have changed my life. Colitis and other stress-related health problems
were cured.
Dr. Paul Hardy in
SLOW IMPROVEMENT
During the eight years I have been taking antidepressants, there has been a
steady improvement in my speech, sociability, and posture. The change was so
gradual that I did not notice it. Even though I felt relief from the "nerves"
immediately, it takes time to unlearn old behavior patterns.
Within the last year, I had an opportunity to visit an old friend who had
known me before I started taking antidepressants. My friend, Billie Hart, told
me I was a completely different person. She said I used to walk and sit in a
hunched-over position and now my posture is straight. Eye contact had improved
and I no longer shifted around in my chair. I was also surprised to learn that
I no longer seemed to be out of breath all the time,
and I had stopped constantly swallowing.
Various people I have met at autism meetings have seen steady improvement in
my speech and mannerisms throughout the eight-year period I have taken the
medicines. My old friend, Lorna King, also noticed many changes. "Your
speech used to seem pressured, coming in almost explosive bursts. Your old tendency to perseverate is gone" (Grandin &
Scariano, 1986).
I had a odd lack of awareness of my oddities of
speech and mannerisms until I looked at videotapes. I think videotapes could be
used to help many high-functioning autistics with speech and social skills.
FAMILY HISTORY
There is much that can be learned from family history. During my travels to
autism conferences, I have found many families with affective disorder in the
family history. The relationship between autism and affective disorder has also
been reported in the literature (Gillberg & Schaumann, 1981). Family
histories of high-functioning autistics often contain giftedness, anxiety or
panic disorder, depression, food allergies, and learning disorders. In many of
the families I have interviewed the disorders were never formally diagnosed,
but careful questioning revealed them.
My own family history contains nervousness and anxiety on both sides. My
grandmother has mild depression, and Tofranil has also worked wonders for her.
She is also very sensitive to loud noise. She told me that when she was a
little girl, the sound of coal going down the chute was torture. My sister is
bothered by confusing noise from several sources. On my father's side there is
explosive temper, perseveration on one topic, extreme nervousness, and food
allergies. Both sides of my family contain artists. There are also signs of
immune system abnormalities in myself and my siblings. I had shingles in my
thirties, and my brother had them at age 4. My sister had serious ear
infections similar to the ear infections in many young autistics. My dad, brother , and myself all have eczema.
SENSORY DEPRIVATION SYMPTOMS
Animals placed in an environment that severely restricts sensory input develop
many autistic symptoms such as stereotyped behavior, hyperactivity, and
self-mutilation (Grandin, 1984). Why would an autistic and a lion in a barren
concrete zoo cage have some of the same symptoms? From my own experience I
would like to suggest a possible answer. Since incoming auditory and tactile
stimulation often overwhelmed me, I may have created a self-imposed sensory
restriction by withdrawing from input that was too intense. Mother told me that
when I was a baby I stiffened and pulled away. By pulling away, I did not
receive the comforting tactile input that is required for normal development.
Animal studies show that sensory restriction in puppies and baby rats has a
very detrimental effect on brain development. Puppies raised in a barren kennel
become hyper-excitable, and their EEGs (brain waves) still contain signs of
overarousal six months after removal from the kennel (Melzack & Burns,
1965). Autistic children also have a desynchronized EEG, which indicates high
arousal (Hutt, Hutt, Lee, & Ounstead, 1965). Trimming the whiskers on baby
rats causes the parts of the brain that receive input from the whiskers to
become oversensitive (Simons & Land, 1987). The abnormality is relatively
permanent; the brain areas are still abnormal after the whiskers grow back.
Some autistics also have overactive brain metabolism (Rumsey et al., 1985).
I often wonder, if I had received more tactile
stimulation as a child would I have been less "hyper" as an adult?
Handling baby rats produces less emotional adults who are more willing to
explore a maze (Denenbert, Morton, Kline, & Grota, 1962; Ehrlich, 1959).
Tactile stimulation is extremely important for babies and aids their
development (Casler, 1965). Therapists have found that children who withdraw
from comforting tactile stimulation can learn to enjoy it if their skin is
carefully desensitized. Rubbing the skin with different cloth textures often
helps. Deep pressure stimulation also reduces the urge to pull away.
I was born with sensory problems (due to cerebellar abnormalities), but
perhaps secondary neurological damage is caused by withdrawal from touching.
Autopsies of five autistic brains indicated that cerebellar abnormalities occur
during fetal development, and many areas of the limbic systems were immature
and abnormal (Bauman, 1989). The limbic system does not fully mature until two
years after birth. Maybe withdrawal from touching made some behavior problems
worse. In my book, I describe stupid " bathroom"
fixations that got me into a lot of trouble. An interesting paper by McCray
(1978) shows a link between a lack of tactual stimulation and excessive
masturbation. Masturbation stopped when the children received more affection
and hugging. Perhaps the "bathroom" fixation would never have
occurred if I could have enjoyed affection and hugging.
Lately there has been a lot of publicity about holding therapy, where an
autistic child is forcibly held and hugged until he stops resisting. If this
had been done to me I would have found it highly aversive and stressful.
Several parents of autistic children have told me that a gentler form of
holding therapy is effective and it improved eye contact, language, and
sociability. Powers and Thorworth (1985) report a similar result. Perhaps it
would be beneficial if autistic babies were gently stroked when they pulled
away. My reaction was like a wild animal. At first touching was aversive, and
then it became pleasant. In my opinion, tactual defensiveness should be broken
down slowly, like taming an animal. If a baby could be desensitized and learn
to enjoy comforting tactile input, possible future behavior problems could be
reduced.
DIRECT FIXATIONS
Today I have a successful career designing livestock equipment because my high
school science teacher, Mr. Carlock, used my fixation on cattle chutes to
motivate me to study psychology and science. He also taught me how to use the
scientific indexes.
This knowledge enabled me to find out about Tofranil. While the school
psychologist wanted to take my squeeze machine away, Mr. Carlock encouraged me
to read scientific journals so I could learn why the machine had a relaxing
effect. When I moved out to
Today I travel all over the world designing stockyards and chutes for major
meat-packing firms. I am a recognized leader in my field and have written over
100 technical and scientific papers on livestock handling (Grandin, 1987). If
the psychologists had been successful in taking away my squeeze machine, maybe
I would be sitting somewhere rotting in front of a TV instead of writing this
chapter.
Some of the most successful high-functioning autistics have directed
childhood fixations into careers (Bemporad, 1979; Grandin & Scariano, 1968;
Kanner, 1971). When Kanner (1971) followed up his original 11 cases, there were
two major successes. The most successful person turned a childhood fixation on
numbers into a bank teller's job. The farmer who reared him found goals for his
number fixation; he told him he could count the corn rows if he plowed the
field.
Many of my fixations initially had a sensory basis. In the fourth grade, I
was attracted to election posters because I liked the feeling of wearing the
posters like a sandwich man. Occupational therapists have found that a weighted
vest will often reduce hyperactivity.
Even though the poster fixation started out with a sensory basis, I became
interested in the election. My teachers should have taken advantage of my
poster fixation to stimulate and interest in social studies. Calculating electoral college points would have motivated me to study
math.
Another one of my fixations was automatic glass sliding doors. Initially I
was attracted to the doors because I liked the sensation of watching them move
back and forth. Then gradually the doors took on other meanings, which I will
talk about in the next section. In a high-functioning adolescent, and interest
in sliding doors could be used to stimulate science interests. if my teacher had challenged me to learn how the electronic
box that opened the door worked, I would have dived head first into
electronics. Fixations can be tremendous motivators. Teachers need to use
fixations to motivate instead of trying to stamp them out. A narrow, fixated
interest needs to be broadened into constructive activities. The principle can
also be used with lower- functioning children; Simons and Sabine (1987) list
many good examples.
Fixations need to be differentiated from stereotypies, such as hand flapping
or rocking. A fixation is an interest in something external, such as airplanes,
radio, or sliding doors. Engaging in stereotypic behavior for long periods of
time may be damaging to the nervous system. In one experiment, pigs in a barren
pen that engaged in large amounts of stereotyped rooting on each other had
abnormal dendritic growth in the somatosensory cortex (Grandin, 1989).
VISUALIZATION
All my thinking is visual. When I think about abstract
concepts such as getting along with people I use visual images such as the
sliding glass door. Relationships must be approached carefully otherwise the
sliding door could be shattered. Visualization to describe abstract concepts is
also described by Park and Youderian (1974). As a young child I had
visualizations to help me understand the Lord's Prayer. The "power and the
glory" were high-tension electric towers and a blazing rainbow sun. The
word "trespass" was visualized as a "No Trespassing" sign
on the neighbor's tree. Some parts of the prayer were simply incomprehensible.
The only non-visual thoughts I have are of music. Today I no longer use sliding
doors to understand personal relationships, but I still have to relate a
particular relationship with something I have read - for example, the fight
between Jane and Joe was like the U.S. and Canada squabbling over the trade
agreement. Almost all my memories relate to visual images of specific events.
If somebody says the word "cat," my images are of individual cats I
have known or read about. I do not think about a generalized cat.
My career as a designer of livestock facilities maximizes my talent areas
and minimizes my deficits. I still have problems handling long strings of
verbal information. If directions from a gas station contain more than three
steps, I have to write them down. Statistics are extremely difficult because I
am unable to hold one piece of information in my mind while I do the next step.
Algebra is almost impossible, because I can't make a visual image and I mix up
steps in the sequence. To learn statistics I had to sit down with a tutor and
write down the directions for doing each test. Every time I do a t-test or a
chi-square, I have to use the notes. I have no problem understanding the
principles of statistics, because I can see the normal or skewed distributions
in my head. The problem is I cannot remember the sequence for doing the
calculations. I can put a regression line on a graph full of dots visually. The
first time I tried it, I was off only a few degrees. I also have many dyslexic
traits, such as reversing numbers and mixing up similar-sounding words such as
"over" and "other." Right and left are also mixed up.
Visual thinking is an asset for an equipment designer. I am able to
"see" how all parts of a project will fit together and see potential
problems. It never ceases to amaze me how architects and engineers can make so
many stupid mistakes in buildings. The disastrous accident where the catwalks
at the Hyatt Regency fell and killed 100 people was caused by visualization
errors. All the calculations were correct, but the architect's original design
was impossible to build. Further visualization errors made during construction
resulted in doubling the load on poorly designed fasteners. Academic
requirements probably keep many visual thinkers out of these professions.
Designing a piece of equipment with a sequential mind may be just as difficult
for an engineer as statistics equations are for me. The sequential thinker
can't see the whole. I have observed many incidents in industry where a
brilliant maintenance man with a high school education designs a piece of
equipment after all the Ph.D. engineers have failed. He may be an unrecognized
visual thinker. There may be two basic kinds of thinking, visual and
sequential. Farah (1989) concluded that "thinking in images is distinct
from thinking in language." I have also had the opportunity to interview
brilliant people who have very little visual thought. One professor told me
that facts just come out of his mind instantly. To retrieve facts, I have to
read them off a visualized page of a book or "play a video" of some
previous event.
There is however, one area of visualization I am poor in. I often fail to
recognize faces until I have known a person for a long time. This sometimes
causes social problems, because I sometimes don't respond to an acquaintance
because I fail to recognize them. Einstein was a visual thinker who failed his
high school language requirement and relied on visual methods of study
((Holton, 1971-1972). The theory of relativity was based on visual imagery of
moving boxcars and riding on light beams. At an autism meeting I had the
opportunity to visit some of Einstein's relatives. His family history has a
high incidence of autism, dyslexia, food allergies, giftedness, and musical
talent. Einstein himself had many autistic traits. An astute reader can find
them in Einstein and Einstein (1987) and Lepscky (1982).
In my own family history, my grandfather on my mother's side was co-inventor
of the automatic pilot for airplanes, and on my father's side my
great-grandfather was a maverick who started the
largest corporate wheat farm in the world. My two sisters and one brother are
all visual thinkers. One sister is dyslexic and is brilliant in the art of
decorating houses. My brother can build anything but had problems with calculus
when he tried to major in engineering. He is now a very successful banker and
did well in all other subjects in college. My youngest sister is a sculptress
and did well in school. My mother and grandparents on the mother's side were
all good at higher math, and many people on my mother's side were well-known
for intellect.
Drawing elaborate drawings of steel and concrete livestock stockyards is
easy (Figure 6-3). I am able to visualize a motion picture of the finished
facility in my imagination. However, drawing realistic human faces is very
difficult. Figure 6-4 illustrates a buffalo-handling facility I designed. Since
it was a government low-bid contract, every piece of steel had to be visualized
and drawn on 26 sheets of detailed drawings. I am very proud of this job
because I was able to accurately visualize everything prior to construction
except for one little ladder. When I was a child, my parents and teachers
encouraged my artistic talent. It is important to nurture talents.
Discussions with other high-functioning autistics have revealed visual
methods of thinking on tasks that are often considered non-visual. A brilliant autistic
computer programmer told me that he visualized the program tree in his mind and
then just filled in the code on each branch. A gifted autistic composer told me
that he made "sound pictures."
I was good at building things, but when I first started working with
drawings it took time to learn how the lines on a drawing related to the
picture in my imagination. When I built a house for my aunt and uncle, I had
difficulty learning the relationship between symbolic markings on the drawings
and the actual construction. The house was built before I learned drafting. Now
I can instantly translate a drawing into a mental image of a finished
structure. While agonizing over the house plans, I was able to pull up pictures
out of my memory of a house addition that was built when I was eight. Mental
images from my childhood memory helped me install windows, light switches, and
plumbing. I replayed the "videos" in my imagination.
SAVANT SKILLS
Studies have shown that when autistic savants become less fixated and more
social they lose their savant skills such as card counting, calendar
calculation, or art skills (Rimland & Fein, 1988). Since I started taking
the medication I have lost my fixation, but I have not lost my visualization
skill. Some of my best work has been done while on the medication.
My opinion is that savants lose their skill because they lose the fixated
attention. Card counting (shown in the Rain Man movie) is no mystery to
me. I think savants visualize the cards being dealt onto a table in a pattern,
like a series of clocks or a Persian rug pattern. To tell which cards are still
in the deck, they simply look at their patterns. The only thing that prevents
me from card counting or calendar calculation is that I no longer have the
concentration to hold a visual image completely steady for a long period of
time. I speculate that socialized savants still retain their visualization
skills. I still have the perfect pitch skill, even though I don't use it. If I
had greater concentration, I could sing back much longer songs after hearing
them once.
In my own case the strongest visual images are of things that evoked strong
emotions, such as important big jobs. These memories never fade and they remain
accurate. However, I was unable to recall visual images of the houses on a
frequently traveled road until I made an effort to attend to them. A strong
visual image contains all details, and it can be rotated and made to move like
a movie. Weaker images are like slightly out-of-focus pictures or may have details
missing. For example, in a meat-packing plant I can accurately visualize the
piece of equipment I designed but I am unable to remember things I do not
attend to, such as the ceiling over the equipment, bathrooms, stairways,
offices, and other areas of little or not interest. Memories of items of
moderate interest grow hazy with time.
I tried a little memory experiment at one of my jobs. After being away from
the plant for 30 days, I tried recalling a part of the plant that I had
attended to poorly, and another part I had attended to intently. I had not
designed either of these places. The first place was the plant conference room,
and the other was the entrance to the room that housed my equipment. I was able
to draw a fairly accurate map of the office, but I made major mistakes on
conference-room furniture and ceiling covering. The room I visualized was plain
and lacked detail. On the other hand, I visualized the entrance door to the
equipment room very accurately, but made a slight mistake on the door-handle
style. The visualized door had much greater detail than the visualized
conference room. The conference room was not attended to even though I
negotiated with the plant managers in that room.
Talents need to be nurtured and broadened out into something useful. Nadia,
a well-known autistic case, drew wonderful perspective pictures as a child
(Seifel, 1977). When she gained rudimentary social skills, she stopped drawing.
Possibly the talent could have been revived with encouragement from teachers.
Seifel (1977) describes how Nadia drew pictures on napkins and waste papers.
She needed proper drawing equipment. Treffert (1989) reported on several
savants who did not lose their savant skills when they became more social. Use
of savant skills was encouraged.
At the age of 28, my drafting drastically improved after I observed a
talented draftsman named David. Building the house taught me how to understand
blueprints, but now I had to learn to draw them. When I started drawing
livestock facilities I used David's drawings as models. I had to
"pretend" I was David. After buying a drafting pencil just like
David's, I laid some of his drawings out and then proceeded to draw a loading
ramp for cattle. I just copied his style, like a savant playing music, except
my ramp was a different design. When it was finished I couldn't believe I had
done it.
DEFICITS AND ABILITIES
Five years ago I took a series of tests to determine my abilities and
handicaps. On the Hiskey Nebraska Spatial Reasoning test, my performance was at
the top of the norms. On the Woodcock-Johnson Spatial Relations test, I only
got an average score because it was a timed speed test. I am not a fast
thinker; it takes time for the visual image to form. When I survey a site for
equipment at a meat-packing plant, it takes 20 to 30 minutes of staring at the
building to fully imprint the site in my memory. Once this is done, I have a
"video" I can play back when I am working on the drawing. When I
draw, the image of the new piece of equipment gradually emerges. As my
experience increased, I needed fewer measurements to properly survey a job. On
many remodeling jobs, the plant engineer often measures a whole bunch of stuff
that is going to be torn out. He can't visualize what the building will look
like when parts of it are torn out and a new part is added.
As a child I got scores of 120 and 137 on the Wechsler. I had superior
scores in Memory for Sentences, Picture Vocabulary, and Antonyms-Synonyms on
the Woodcock-Johnson. On Memory for Numbers I beat the test by repeating the
numbers out loud. I have an extremely poor long-term memory for things such as
phone numbers unless I can convert them to visual images. For example, the
number 65 is retirement age, and I imagine somebody in
I got a second-grade score on the Woodcock-Johnson Blending subtest where I
had to identify slowly sounded-out words. The Visual Auditory Learning subtest
was another disaster. I had to memorize the meaning of arbitrary symbols, such
as a triangle means "horse," and read a sentence composed of symbols.
I could only learn the ones where I was able to make a picture for each symbol.
For example, I imagined the triangle as a flag carried by a horse and rider.
Foreign languages were almost impossible. Concept Formation was another test
with fourth-grade results. The name of this test really irks me, because I am
good at forming concepts in the real world. My ability to visualize broad
unifying concepts from hundreds of journal articles has enabled me to outguess
the "experts" on many livestock subjects. The test involved picking
out a concept such as "large, yellow" and then finding it in another
set of cards. The problem was, I could not hold the
concept in my mind while I looked at the other cards. If I had been allowed to
write the concept down, I would have done much better.
LEARNING TO READ
Mother was my salvation for reading. I would have never learned to read by the
method that requires memorization of hundreds of words. Words are too abstract
to be remembered. She taught me with old-fashioned phonics. After I laboriously
learned all the sounds, I was able to sound out words. To motivate me, she read
a page and then stopped in an exciting part. I had to read the next sentence.
Gradually she read less and less. Mrs. David W. Eastham in
A visualized-reading method developed by Miller and Miller (1971) would also
have been helpful. To learn verbs, each word has letters drawn to look like the
action. For example, "fall" would have letters falling over, and
"run" would have letters that looked like runners. This method needs
to be further developed for learning speech sounds. Learning the sounds would
have been much easier if I had a picture of a choo-choo train for
"ch" and a cat for hard "c" sound. For long and short
vowels, long "a" could be represented by a picture of somebody
praying. This card could be used for both "pr" and long "a"
by having a circle around "pr" on one card and the "a" on
another.
At first, reading out loud was the only way I could read. Today, when I read
silently, I use a combination of instant visualization and sounding words. For
example, this phrase from a magazine - "stop several pedestrians on a city
street" - was instantly seen as moving pictures. Sentences that contain
more abstract words like "apparent" or "incumbent" are
sounded out phonetically.
As a child, I often talked out loud because it made my thoughts more
"concrete" and "real." Today, when I am alone designing, I
will talk out loud about the design. Talking activates more brain regions than
just thinking.
MENTOR
"A skilled and imaginative teacher prepared to enjoy and be challenged by
the child seems repeatedly to have been a deciding factor in the success and
educational placement of high-functioning, autistic children" (Newson,
Dawson, & Everard, 1982). Bemporod (1979) also brings forth the mentor
concept. My mentor in high school was Mr. Carlock, my high school science
teacher. Structured behavior modification methods that work with small children
are often useless with a high-functioning older child with normal intelligence.
I was lucky to get headed on the right path after college. Three other
high-functioning autistics were not so fortunate. One man has a Ph.D. in math
and he sits at home. He needed somebody to steer him into an appropriate job.
Teaching math did not work out; he should have obtained a research position
that required less interaction with people. The other lady has a degree in
history and now works doing a boring telephone-sales job. She needs a job where
she can fully utilize her talents. she al so needs a
mentor to help her find an appropriate job and help open doors for her. Both
these people needed support after college, and they did not receive it. The
third man did well in high school and he also sits at home. He has a real knack
for library research. If some interested person worked with him, he could work
for a newspaper researching background information for stories. All three of
these people need jobs where they can make maximum use of their talents and
minimize their deficits.
Another autistic lady I know was lucky. She landed a graphic-arts job where
she was able to put her visualization talents to good use. Her morale was also
boosted when her paintings received recognition and were purchased by a local
bank. Her success with the paintings also opened up many social doors. In my
own case, many social doors opened after I made scenery for the college talent
show. I was still considered a nerd, but now I was a "neat" nerd.
People respect talent even if they think you are "weird." People
became interested in me after they saw my drawings and pictures of my jobs. I
made myself an expert in a specialized area.
High-functioning autistics will probably never really fit in with the social
whirl. My life is my work. If a high- functioning autistic gets an interesting
job, he or she will have a fulfilling life. I spend most Friday and Saturday
nights writing papers and drawing. Almost all my social contacts are with
livestock people or people interested in autism. Like the Newson et al. (1982)
subjects, I prefer factual, non-fictional reading materials. I have little
interest in novels with complicated interpersonal relationships. When I do read
novels, I prefer straightforward stories that occur in interesting places with
lots of description.
The mentor needs to be somebody who can provide support on several different
fronts. Employment is only one area. Many high-functioning autistics need to
learn about budgeting money, how to make claims on health insurance, and
nutritional counseling. As the person becomes more and more independent the
mentor can be phased out, but the mentor may still be needed if the autistic
loses his job or has some other crisis.
WHO HELPED ME RECOVER
Many people ask me, "How did you manage to
recover?" I was extremely lucky to have the right people working with me
at the right time. At age 2, I had all the typical autistic symptoms. In 1949,
most doctors did not know what autism was, but fortunately a wise neurologist
recommended "normal therapy" instead of an institution. I was
referred to a speech therapist who ran a special
nursery school in her home. The speech therapist was the most important
professional in my life. At age 3, my mother hired a governess who kept me and
my sister constantly occupied. My day consisted of structured activities such
as skating, swinging, and painting. The activities were structured, but I was
given limited opportunities for choice. For example, on one day I could choose
between building a snowman or sledding. She actually
participated in all the activities. She also conducted musical activities, and
we marched around the piano with toy drums. My sensory problems were not
handled well. I would have really benefited if I had had an occupational
therapist trained in sensory integration.
I went to a normal elementary school with older, experienced teachers and
small classes. Mother was another important person who helped my recovery. She
worked very closely with the school. She used techniques that are used today in
the most successful mainstreaming programs to integrate me into the classroom.
The day before I went to school, she and the teacher explained to the other
children that they needed to help me.
As discussed earlier, puberty was a real problem time. I got kicked out of
high school for fighting. I then moved on to a small country boarding school
for gifted children with emotional problems. The director was an innovative man
and considered a "lone wolf" by his psychologist colleagues. This is
where I met Mr. Carlock. Another extremely helpful person was Ann, my aunt. I
visited her ranch during the summer.
In high school and college, the people that helped me the most were the
creative, unconventional thinkers. The more traditional professionals such as
the school psychologist were actually harmful. They were too busy trying to
psychoanalyze me and take away my squeeze machine. Later when I became interested
in meat-packing plants, Tom Rohrer, the manager of the local meat-packing
plant, took an interest in me. For three years I visited his plant once a week
and learned the industry. My very first design job was in his plant. I want to
emphasize the importance of a gradual transition from the world of school to
the world of work. The packing plant visits were made while I was still in
college. People with autism need to be gradually introduced to a job before
they graduate. The autistics I discussed earlier could have excellent careers
if they had a local businessperson take an interest in them.
AUTISM PROGRAMS
During my travels I have observed many different programs. It is my opinion
that effective programs for young children have certain common denominators
that are similar regardless of theoretical basis. Early, intense intervention
improves the prognosis. Passive approaches don't work. My governess was
sometimes mean, but her intense, structured intervention prevented me from
withdrawing. She and my mother just used their good instincts. Good programs do
a variety of activities and use more than one approach. A good little
children's program should include flexible behavior modification, speech
therapy, exercise, sensory treatment (activities that stimulate the vestibular
system and tactile desensitization), musical activities, contact with nor mal
children, and lots of love. The effectiveness of different types of programs is
going to vary from case to case. A program that is effective for one case may
be less effective for another.
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