May 24, 2021

Why I Speak Up

Trigger Warning: mention of suicide, self-harm, mental health conditions

I was first public with my mental health struggles when I was thirteen. At the time no one was talking about depression or anxiety, self-harming or suicide, how it impacts us and those around us, or even that it just existed. Staying silent about our mental health and those around us was normal. I remember learning that friends had talked about going through unfamiliar experiences related to their mental health, but that they felt alone because no one ever really talked about their experiences with mental health. I started to make posts on my social media sharing my journey with self-harm, depression, and experiences with suicidal ideation. 

I wanted to speak up because I wanted to be honest, not only with those around me but also with myself. Life isn’t perfect and I didn’t want my social media to portray that. As we grow, we experience more and more but don’t always know why and I feel like by sharing my experiences, my mental processes, feelings, and thoughts it would allow others to gain a sense of where I’m coming from but also see if something within that resonates with them. When I went through depression for the first time, I felt alone as many people do and I felt even more alone with so few people acknowledging that it was a thing. At that time, if you talked about mental health or self-harm people assumed you were doing it for attention, but I wanted to from the very beginning and was clear that I wanted to ensure someone out there knew they weren’t alone. Once I graduated high school, I reached out to old classmates I was never overly close with and got to know them better. People who I still would never have imagined opened up to me with their experiences with anxiety and self-harming. I could tell people knew they weren’t alone when more and more commented on my posts or sent me private messages. I acknowledge and want to recognize that not everyone is in a part of their journey where they feel safe or empowered to speak up and that those feelings come and go. I think you can go through life and it is okay that someone doesn’t speak publicly, for me personally though I find it cathartic. I definitely have phases where I’m afraid of what new friends would think of me once they follow my social media or have warranted a warning that those were topics I was very open about and that are on my pages. The way I look at it though, is it is another way to show that I am human.

Speaking up doesn’t have to be in the context of mental or physical health, it can take on the form of advocating for others’ rights or voices. Recently, I had experienced multiple incidences of targeted verbal harassment from some construction workers at a U.W. facility. I tried contacting anyone I could within the U.W. to report the incident because I was concerned for the even younger huskies that may be experiencing that as well. I was given the go around so I decided to post it on a popular facebook group, Overheard at UW, in part to warn others of avoiding the area but to also draw attention to the issue. The situation was handled by a facility director who oversaw the projects on campus and within 24 hours, three individuals were identified, released from the project, and dismissed from working on any construction jobs with the partnered company. The reason I share this story is to emphasize the importance of speaking up because about five other individuals came forward expressing similar experiences around other U.W. construction projects. Some of those individuals thought it was an issue only happening to them while others weren’t sure who or how to report the incidents being left to feel helpless. Through posting I was hoping to protect others but it also inadvertently ended up being a resource for other students on how they can approach reporting those situations even if they hadn’t dealt with that. Speaking up can also come in forms of just confiding with other friends about their experiences. I think once again it is about being honest with oneself and those they trust. We all have so much to learn from each other and I think the more we hear one another’s stories the more compassion and empathy we gain, but it is also very important to take care of yourself and maintain boundaries.

-Grace Henneford