My Bi Polar Mother
By: Ashley Felsman

My Bi Polar mother
playing baseball in an semi-abandoned field
just left of the interstate
with her navy blue jacket with the “Annie” Insignia moving with her
running.
Her glove like a fox searching for a prey
huffing and smiling
Once she was the champion javelin jumper
now she plays fucking baseball
with all the men and women from her chaotic office
after a long day dealing with abused children.
Kris and I waiting
waiting for the last inning
shouting and clapping just for her.
“Yay! Go mommy! You can do it,”
we both shouted in unison
as if it were a coincidence. When
it was all over she came and hugged us
carried us to the beat up grey Subaru
and tucked us into our seat belts
and drove to the local Biker bar we always went to
She sat and talked like she was happy, never having a drink
while Kris and I laid on the black greasy floor
covered in old peanut shells tossed carelessly on the top.

My Bi Polar Mother told
me everything was alright
as she dropped me into bed playfully
and put her fingers through my hair
even thought she knew I would be up
in a few hours to interrupt her sleep
with a childish nightmare about the same
stupid monster, even with the delicate night light on
That one about the beeping crab,
where all my tears went down the toilet exactly at eleven
Kris’ red race car bed zooming down the highway.