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How to Practice Your Italian |
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written
by sariah / 10.24.2005 |
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Category |
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Deviant ways to practice Italian aka entertainment/communication
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Italian |
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Mi dispiace, non parlo inglese.
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English |
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I’m sorry, I don’t speak English.
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Story |
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Italians are an observant people. They can sense non-Italians travelers with a millisecond glance from toes to head. By the time your mental gears warm up to crank out book-learned Italian phrases, the Italian has already made a seamless transition into English. It is no doubt that your comfortable, flat walking shoes were the give-away.
“Scusi, dov'è la fermata dell'autobus?”, you ask in choppy Italian.
“It’s 10 meters away, on your left”, responds your friendly (or sometimes exasperated) Italian local.
In many cases, English can be a relief. It saves many a frustrating excursions in the wrong direction or confusing minutes of vague, but energetic, hand motions. In addition, Italians instinctively cringe when their language is butchered. At times, they seem more amiable to speaking English than in listening to amateur Italian vowel pronunciations.
However, as a student who is trying to practice Italian, conversations in English can be a major roadblock to reaching Italian language expertise. The solution, as in many precarious life situations, involves feigning ignorance. Pretending you don’t speak English is not something you should do before sticking a hand in the mouth of Santa Maria in Cosmedin’s Lion. Nonetheless, it can be a practical course of action for some last minute Italian practice when there are only English-speaking Italians to be found in the immediate area.
In conclusion, there are two important practical considerations for using this technique. First, only choose people who appear to be relaxed and unoccupied. It is important not to annoy a potential conversation partner when they have important business to complete. Second, you must not truly need any information from the exchange. Once you claim not to speak English, there is no return.
NB: I suspect that this phrase is most useful for the “ambiguously raced” (term courtesy of Judy Wang). However, everyone should give it a try. If you look like the expected American (you know who you are), just be creative and prepared to make up a weird sounding language on the spot. Or if an Italian speaks to you in English, think of a something really confusing- quantum mechanics, conservative politicians, predatory seagulls- and your facial expressions will help perpetuate the ruse.
Disclaimer: No offense intended.
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