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Practicing Language Skills |
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written
by sariah / 09.15.2005 |
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Category |
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Deviant ways to prepare for the Italian Oral Exam a.k.a. Entertainment
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Italian |
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Mi dispiace, non parlo inglese.
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English |
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I’m sorry, I don’t speak English.
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Story |
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Italians are an observant people. They can spot non-Italians in a millisecond glance from head to toes. By the time my mental gears have warmed up to crank out a book-learned Italian phrase, the Italian has already made a seamless transition into English. No doubt, it was my comfortable, flat walking shoes that gave me away.
“Scusi, dov’e la fermata de linea A”, I ask in choppy Italian.
“It’s 10 meters away, on your left”, responds the friendly and sometimes exasperated Italian local.
In many cases, speaking English can be a relief for both parties. It saves many frustrating excursions in the wrong direction or several confusing minutes of vague, but energetic, hand motions. In addition, Italians instinctively cringe when they hear their language butchered. At times, they seem more amiable to speaking English than in listening to amateur word pronunciations in Italian.
However, as a student who is trying to practice Italian in preparation for an upcoming Italian oral exam, conversations in English can be a major roadblock to reaching Italian language expertise. The solution, as in many precarious life situations, involves feigning ignorance. Pretending you don’t speak English is not something you should do before sticking a hand in the mouth of Santa Maria in Cosmedin’s Lion. Nonetheless, it can be a practical course of action for some last minute Italian practice when there are only multi-lingual Italians to be found in the immediate area.
In conclusion, there are two important practical considerations for using this technique. First, I only choose people who appear to be relaxed and unoccupied. It is important not to annoy a potential conversational partner who is actively engaged in important activities. Second, the information that I request is not necessary or crucial to my everyday existence. For I have learned that once I claim not to speak English, there is no return.
NB: I suspect that this phrase is most useful for the “ambiguously raced” (term courtesy of Judy Wang), however, everyone should give it a try. If one looks like the typical American (you know who you are), just be creative and prepared to make up a weird sounding language on the spot. Or if an Italian speaks to you in English, think of a something really confusing like quantum mechanics, conservative politicians, predatory seagulls- and your facial expressions will help perpetuate the ruse.
Disclaimer: This entry is meant to be humorous and apolitical-no offense intended.
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