October 22, 2020

Challenging One’s Identity

“As a student at the UW who identifies as disabled, I have been able to access resources and accommodations through the Disability Resources for Students (DRS). I have a lot of thoughts when I hear the term DRS: I think of the way non-disabled students talk about it being an “advantage”, I think of the teachers or faculty who think we are pretending, I think of student staff that I myself along with others have had some unpleasant interactions with, I think of the process for getting said accommodations, and I think above all else the way my identity has been tested in that environment. 

Part of getting accommodations is providing paperwork from a professional that explains why and how these accommodations would assist in navigating school as someone with a disability. When I came into college I had severe anxiety that would make it nearly impossible for me to function like a normal human being and it became very suffocating at times. Throughout college and once I had gotten help, I have learned a lot about myself, how to adapt to this disability, how to better manage it, I am on medication under doctor supervision, and so ultimately, I appear ‘normal’ to anyone else. No one would know I have to manage an invisible disability daily, unless I told them. 

The second year I came back, I had to get my accommodations approved again in order to utilize them during the year. I found the process the second time around to be more stressful and challenging to my own identity than the first. I was doing a lot better than I had been a year previously, but I had to prove I was ‘disabled enough’ in order to receive accommodations and then have someone else validate that I met some standard. Coming into college I never associated what is considered an invisible disability to be a disability at all so I battled a lot internally with how I wanted to identify myself and what I wanted to be associated with. I found it really challenging then to have other people try to define me and put me into this mold when I knew I was more than just a diagnosis. I am listed as having a temporary disability, but why isn’t there anything to then support students such as myself through this transition? Not every transition is for the better, but for some it is and students shouldn’t just be tossed to the side once their experiences aren’t ‘valid enough to qualify’. Physical disabilities are easier to see than an invisible disability, but people who have one or the other or both struggle with these pre-made assumptions about their disability and how that makes people view them. I find it rather draining to constantly advocate for myself and prove to society that a disability exists, while still wanting people to see me as a person.”

-Anonymous Student