Nurturing Dependence with Youth in Care

As discussed, all children and youths require secure dependence upon reliable adults in order to develop into dependable adults themselves. Research findings in the past decade clearly establish that a dependent and nurturing attachment leads to greater readiness to branch out and proceed on one’s own ( Sroufe 1978). In fact, children whose highly responsive parents have "pampered" their dependency are the ones who are least fretful. These children ultimately achieve secure independence in the same behaviors where they earlier had clamored for support ( Ainsworth et al. 1974; Brunner 1970). Interestingly, dependence begets independence. In child-care work, dependence, support, and nurturance are fundamental ingredients of care.

To permit such knowledge to be applied, group care programs must be structured so that staff members have as one of their central and continuing tasks to provide not only immediate support but nurturance of the dependency of those in their care [Maier 1981]. We need to be mindful that, at the beginning of new experiences or at points of crisis, a child’s dependence upon physical support and nurturance is primary. To be able to depend on dependence feels good and helps to promote development. Effective care work necessitates a program that provides countless opportunities and resources for rendering concrete caregiving.

Once a person feels assured that dependency needs will be met, self-mastery ("me-do-it") becomes alive as a developmental issue. In residential care situations, this frequently occurs after the individual has seemingly "fit in so well." Youngsters will suddenly rebel, such as by rejecting well-meant suggestions that had earlier been accepted. They act not unlike the two-year-old who insists on self-feeding. As in the case of the two-year-old, this rebellion is an indication of a growth spurt rather than a slight to the institution. It does provide a delicate challenge in group care settings, however — how to support self-mastery while maintaining a sense of values and order. For example, the balance may entail supporting a child’s determination to dress as he or she chooses, while making clear the expected dress code on the unit. Again, as this new phase is supported, the struggle over self-mastery becomes less of an issue (e.g., a youngster will no longer view staff involvement as a personal affront but as potential assistance).

Getting support when trying something new and reaching beyond previous mastery into new areas of experience are, for many residents, basic and ongoing developmental issues. In residential programming this means that a range of activities in play and work, variations in routines, contacts with peers and adults, and events within and outside the institution need to be arranged and supported. It is hoped that the worker can understand and evaluate the trying rather than expecting success with each new venture. Eventually the trying will become doing, and doing will become succeeding. It is the process along the way that needs support ( Maier 1982).

Maier, H.(1991) Developmental Foundations of Child and Youth Care Work. In Beker, J. and Eisikovits, Z. (eds.) Knowledge Utilization in residential Child and Youth Care Practice. Washington, D.C.: CWLA.  pp 35-37