These poems were written in two different spaces and places. There are four pairs. Each pair starts with a poem written during my time studying in Chiang Mai, Thailand. Each second work was written in response to its pair a month or two after I returned home. Each of these poems tackles issues of movement, home, privilege and growth. I coupled these poems to show my process of recollecting place as well as recounting and understanding my complex feelings. While I was in Thailand I thought often about these themes, and these poems are the remnants of those reflections.
| Here and There One month away fear pushed away faith in myself in the earth in the universe someone has my back here and there there is beauty here is me there is home here is new there is family here is community there is all | There and Here One month back no consciousness of where I am unsettled with time with movement with health we have each other there and here here is silent there is memory here is air there is smog here is family there is home |
| Full I live here. Across the world from everything I know. I have a community. People who want to learn. To connect and to laugh. I know the streets. I know the rhythm of the cars on Nimman. I know the lifting of the smog at dusk. I have smiled here so often. How full I am able to. How hungry I was before. | Digested The hunger returned not as strong not as fierce I yearn for the song taus the movement of the streets They call to me They whisper “home is everywhere” “it is you” |
| The little leaf When I go back will it hurt? Part of my heart will be missing. Rooted like a tree but I flew like a leaf Letting the wind Take Me How did I end up back here? Here Where all I was was Can I find my new self hidden under those books those branches those brilliant people hugging my new bones hurt it will. | The little seed Where is my heart? I hold so many spaces. Will I return to those places? I took with me a seed. I dropped there and began to grow my tree wonders where her water is? rainy season will come And as for me now, I am more complete because I flew. |
| Privilege LOL pt. 1 Happily trapped in an orb of pause Thanks world for making this the cool smart interesting choice Just another white middle class college age adventurer (colonist?) I just wanted to see the world LOL You know what I mean? | LOL pt. 2 Is it new age colonialism? This yearning to see the world. We step into not questioning We enter desiring the exotic so we can return to the known and laugh Should I stay put? LOL Too much to think about Later |
Elli is a sister, daughter, aunt and friend. She studies at the University of Washington and is majoring in CHID and minoring in NORW. She is a feminist and a life-long learner who lives to hike, sing, laugh and breathe the fresh air of the cascade mountains. She studied abroad during Winter quarter 2020 in Chiang Mai Thailand and will be graduating Spring of 2021.
elvc@uw.edu
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