Top Navigation

Complexities of Consciousness

These poems were written in two different spaces and places. There are four pairs. Each pair starts with a poem written during my time studying in Chiang Mai, Thailand. Each second work was written in response to its pair a month or two after I returned home. Each of these poems tackles issues of movement, home, privilege and growth. I coupled these poems to show my process of recollecting place as well as recounting and understanding my complex feelings. While I was in Thailand I thought often about these themes, and these poems are the remnants of those reflections. 

Here and There
One month away
fear pushed away
in myself
in the earth
in the universe
someone has my back
here and there
there is beauty
here is me
there is home
here is new
there is family
here is community
there is all
There and Here
One month back
no consciousness of where I am
with time
with movement
with health
we have each other
there and here
here is silent
there is memory
here is air
there is smog
here is family
there is home
I live here.
Across the world
from everything I know.
I have a community.
People who want to learn.
To connect and to laugh.
I know the streets.
I know the rhythm of
the cars on Nimman.
I know the lifting
of the smog
at dusk.
I have smiled here so often.
How full I am able to.
How hungry I was before.
The hunger returned
not as strong
not as fierce
I yearn for the song taus
the movement of
the streets
They call to me
They whisper
“home is everywhere”
“it is you”

The little leaf
When I go back
will it hurt?
Part of my heart will be
Rooted like a tree
I flew like a leaf
Letting the wind
How did I end up back here?
Where all I was
Can I find my new self
hidden under
those books
those branches
those brilliant
hugging my new bones
hurt it will.
The little seed
Where is my heart?
I hold so many spaces.
Will I return to those places?
I took with me a seed.
I dropped there
and began to grow
my tree
wonders where her water is?
rainy season
will come

And as for me now,
I am more complete
I flew.

Privilege LOL pt. 1
Happily trapped
in an orb of pause
Thanks world
for making this
the cool 
interesting choice
Just another white middle class 
college age
adventurer (colonist?)
I just wanted to see the world
You know what I mean?
LOL pt. 2
Is it new age colonialism?
This yearning to see the world.
We step into
not questioning
We enter desiring 
the exotic
so we can 
return to the known
and laugh
Should I stay put?
Too much to think about
Comments are closed.